No more waiting. Here goes everything.

I very recently emailed pretty much anyone I've ever known.  I've drawn a lot of inspiration from people I've known my whole life and from people I've spent only a few fortunate moments with.  Everything I've become and will do is a result of the interactions I've had and I feel compelled to share whatever happens next with as many who are interested.  I can hardly think of a thing to say that isn't cliche, but you only live once.  If you have a dream... you better go after it because it's not going to wait for you and you are the only one who can have it.  It is yours.

Tim

Tour of Page County: April, 2013

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Dear Family and Friends,

For some of you it's been a long time coming and for some you are probably wondering where the hell I've been.  I've taken the first step to following a dream I can't stop dreaming.  Last time I sent a giant email blast to everyone I knew I was off to East Africa on a mission to live a life full of adventure and love, doing what I was passionate about; put way too simply, "Save the world!"  An enthusiastic effort that I wasn't able to complete.  The experience was not one I would trade for anything but I ran into so many unknowns that left me off-the-map for a while and I'm looking forward to opening the line of communication wide-open.

I started blogging in an effort to share what I was up to a few years back when cycling and bike racing started becoming much more than a hobby.  It has become a lifestyle.  It has spawned the next great adventure and dream that I want to share with you.  I will be blogging frequently at UnderTheRugg.

The Big Announcement.

In two weeks I will be leaving my day job to race my bike all over the country.  I have had a stressful but rewarding career in Information Technology to date, but I don't want to miss out on an opportunity I have to just race my bike for a while.  I have been saving money for a while to buy a house, start a business, or settle down... but I'm just too damn antsy.  I'm going to use my safety net to take a leap into the world of bike racing, health, and fitness for as long as I can.  I have passed on a few opportunities and taken some that I wasn't ready for, but I am ready for what I have planned for this summer and beyond. 

This summer I'm going to be racing in over ten states from May to August racing over 40 race days with my teammates from the Kelly Benefit Strategies / LSV squad.  The most exciting part is that this is going to be a cross-country back and forth exploration of the country and of ourselves.  I've toured before with my rock band in College and with Invisible Children, Inc. after that, so I know what it's like to be on the road in cramped conditions where everything that can go wrong, will.  But a counterbalance of all the generosity and good in doing something you love will make it all right.  Me and three teammates are tentatively cramming all our bikes, gear, clothes, and lives into a soccer van and are driving from the east coast to the midwest to the west coast and back in a two month period.  We'll be joined at races along the way by other teammates as well based on their availability.   

The three teammates I will be spending the whole trip with are exceptional young athletes with more potential to race at the highest level than any other kids I know.  I affectionately refer to them as kids because I'm not getting any younger at 27 and they have an unbridled ambition to be professional bike racers and reach their dreams that can only be described as "kid-like".  They are so lucky to have that and I am so lucky to still have that bit of careless but calculated longing to accomplish something that seems or seemed impossible until now.

You can get to know a little about my team at www.lateralstressvelo.com and my schedule for the summer is listed below.  Please stay in touch.  Please come to a race if you can.  I can't wait to share the videos/pictures/and experiences along the way!  I'm in for the ride of my life.  No regrets! 




Race Schedule:

May 17/18 - Wilmington Grand Prix - Wilmington, DE
May 19 - Kelly Cup - Baltimore, MD
June 2 - Leonardtown Criterium - Leonardtown, MD
June 8/9 - Air Force Cycling Classic - Clarendon/Crystal City, VA.   These are two of the most exciting Pro Criteriums on the NCC Calendar to watch so I hope to see as many of you as possible here before we take off to the Mid-West!
June 12-16 - Nature Valley Grand Prix - Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN
June 20-30 - Tour of America's Dairyland - Milwaukee Greater Area, WI
July 4-7 - Elite National Championship Time Trial, Road Race, and Criterium - Madison, WI
July 13 - Boise Twilight Criterium - Boise, ID
July 17-21 - Cascade Cycling Classic - Bend, OR
July 27/28 - Stage Race in Colorado - Mountains, CO
Aug 2-4 - Tour of the Catskills - Catskills, NY
Aug 10/11 - Millersburg Stage Race - Millersburg, PA
Aug 17 - Mid-Atlantic Time Trial Championships - Church Creek, MD
Aug 24 - Chris Thater Memorial - Binghamton, NY
Aug 30-Sept 2 - Green Mountain Stage Race - Burlington, VT
Sept 7/8 - Buck's County Classic, UCI - Buck's County, PA

Handbook for Handling Fear

Since the first day I started training to race a bicycle, I thought there was a chance I could make it Pro.


The scariest thing about trying to care so much about something or someone is the fear that right now may be your only chance.  The fear that you are getting too old and second chances sounding as likely as economic stability, start to make decisions that are merely based out of insecurities.  We begin to make our decisions based on what we think is safe rather than what we really want.

To dramatize things--we've gone from the age of "Anything is possible!" to the age of "Why bother?"  Every professional athlete is doping.  Everyone who gets married gets divorced.  Your savings are just going to get wiped out by the stock market.  There are no jobs for college graduates, especially dream jobs.  There's always some political war overshadowing non-oil related humanitarian crises.  Everyone is just looking out for themselves.  So, why bother?

I blame the internet for making the world and everything in it so transparent.  Everyone can figure out exactly what they are capable of, take no risks, and proceed to live a very safe... boring life.  But that's a choice, so the internet can't be blamed.

I blame friends who tell others they should go do something, take a chance - a risk, when they can't themselves.  Our friends seems to know what would be the best choices for us and make it sound so damn easy to do.  But our friends are just too scared to do something themselves, so they can't be blamed.

I blame parents for telling their kids they can be anything they want when they grow up.  You can't just be anything.  You can be someone.  But you need something to be anything.  Our parents probably didn't become anything as they were promised, so they can't be blamed.

The something you need is belief.  I don't mean thinking how you can be something - that's too calculated.  I definitely don't mean accepting what others believe - that's conforming.  I mean that unhinged, fearless, dream-like state of focus that is required to deliver the existential claim to oneself or someone else.  "Believing-in" is very powerful and has a way of spreading to others once the result of overcoming is witnessed.

At Bunny Hop (Local Mid-Atlantic Criterium) a couple years ago my then teammate Chuck Hutcheson pointed me out during our team meeting before the race and told me exactly what he expected me to do that day.  He told me that when there was 10 laps left in the race, roughly 10 kilometers, I was to attack as hard as I could and give everything I had to break away from the field.  At this point I still was unsure if I had what it took to race against other elite riders and normally my pre-race instruction was to go race hard.  I thought I was good enough but I hadn't bridged the gap between thinking I could and believing I could be good enough.  This was the first time ever, or at least substantial enough for me to consider as such, in a sporting event that I was chosen to be a play-maker.  Twenty four years of wanting to be a go-to guy had accumulated inside of me creating a feeling much greater than thinking I could do it.  I had dreamed of doing it.  At the end of the meeting as we headed to the start line I started to believe in myself and nothing was going to stop me.

I could barely keep this secret to myself all race as the cyclists around me jockeyed for position and for their own motivations that day.  Could they sense that I knew something they didn't?  Had the other riders gone through this existentialism before, or were they all out there thinking they could do the exact same thing every other rider was thinking they could do.

It was time.  Ten laps to go and the field was all together.  We came around turn two of the three corner circuit and I hopped out of my saddle and opened up my final sprint with about ten kilometers of racing to go.  I looked back underneath my shoulder a few times and saw as riders responded trying to bridge the gap.  I kept sprinting.  Once I saw the field regroup I found my seat, put my head down, and mashed the pedals as hard as I could with no intention to ever slow down again.

By the time the field realized what was going on, I was 200 meters from the tail end of the pack with the lap ticker counting down quick.  Rival teams hit the front and began their chase in haste as I saw with crossed eyes 5 to go, 4 I think, just 3 more laps.

I remember old Bike Rack teammates on the side of the road roaring for me to keep going and the rider known as Sensei course marshaling telling me I could 'do it'.  The secret was kept safe, I had already done it.  I believed in myself and did something that before I would have thought I could have done, but been too scared to try.

As I came through the start-finish line with one lap remaining the field came roaring by with my teammates perfectly positioned to take the sprint for 1st and 3rd.  I came by some moments later in 64th place and rolled through the parking lot where a junior rider who had been watching the race told me how awesome 'that' was and how he hoped he could ride like 'that' someday.  He will, if he believes he can.  I hope I have something to do with that as Chuck's simple direction had to do with me realizing something much greater than having the ability to race at a high level.

Bunny Hop, May - 2010

From that day forward I found myself getting more and more opportunities to do what I thought I could do the first day I started training for a race.  One of the team managers, Tom Buzas, offered me one of the coveted spots to race in a few NRC (domestic pro) races such as Clarendon Cup, Basking Ridge, and Wilmington Grand Prix.  The Bunny Hop race was in May of 2010.  In a month I'll be racing Tour Do Interior De Sao Paolo in Brazil, a 5-day UCI (international pro) race.  I'm back to thinking I could 'make it' and no longer believing it.  

I'm too scared to quit my job to give the amount of attention needed to physically and mentally train, rest, eat, and meditate on the possibility that my friends think I can do.  That my power numbers when compared to numbers I see on the internet tell me I could do.  To my parents still telling me I can do anything.  Now I've had an untimely setback with my knee that has me even more resistant to believe I can do it.  Of course I still think I can because I have calculated what I could do.  But right now, I'm having trouble believing it.  

It took writing this to realize how stupid fear is and remember how awesome overcoming and achieving things because you believe in yourself is.  I lost the race at Bunny Hop, and it was only Bunny Hop.  But to me, it let me believe in possibilities and in self-belief and even the power of others' belief in you.  It's not only true in bike racing.  You will BE happy in relationships if you believe you are.  You will DO what you think you can if you believe you can.  Change is hard, risks are scary, losing hurts, and the safe-bet is easier.  Our insecurities derived from these things only articulate the value and beauty in overcoming, and believing-in ourselves.

Go West Young Man

Washington is not a place to live in. The rents are high, the food is bad, the dust is disgusting and the morals are deplorable. Go West, young man, go West and grow up with the country

-Horace Greeley

• Washington, DC rent is too high.
• I disagree about the food - it's pretty awesome.
• Who doesn't develop allergies when they move here?
• Tim Brown's morals are deplorable.  Cross-training is over!
• Good luck in California Brownie. We'll all miss you.



From left to right (Marcus Floro, Tim Rugg, Tim Brown, Matt Ringer)



Well-known Mid-Atlantic cyclist and good friend Tim Brown is leaving us for the other side of the country.  Brown has been my teammate for as long as I've been racing and I've been his for as long as he's been racing.  We both started racing in June of 2008 for The Bike Rack as Category 5 Novice bike riders.  We both moved to the elite national team, Battley-Harley Davidson, as development riders in 2010.  In 2011 we had outstanding seasons making our mark as a couple of the most determined and rapidly developing riders in the Mid-Atlantic and beyond.  With skills complementary to each others riding styles, I imagined we'd always be riding on the same squad and maybe going pro together one day and cleaning up as "Tim Squared", "The Tim Towers", "Ruggles and Brownie". 

Today was an often ignored reminder that cycling is secondary to a job and making a living.  Brown has got to go where the work is... and "where he can surf" (dumb).  I hope the Mid-Atlanctic Criterium Champion of 2011 will take his fast finishing speed to the next level on the Los Angeles velodromes.  I'm just sad I won't be there to be a part of it.

Tim Rugg and Tim Brown dominating Greenbelt.

Technology Tiger

I just booked my ticket for a race over three months from now, The Redlands Bicycle Classic.  This race marks the beginning of my 2012 campaign.  I already feel the pressure to do something big to get my team on board for taking a stab at the entire NRC Calendar. 

I have been in secret training mode since October.  So secret that I have abandoned the mustache and will likely do without it next year in an attempt to attack these races like a ninja.  To aid, my team is opting at keeping the jersey design pretty plain, despite my early attempts to mix things up with a design idea I dubbed the "Technology Tiger".

I've got mad Paint skills.

I tested out my sans mustache theory in Phoenix, AZ on a two week business trip that also turned into a two week secret cycling camp.  I met up with the elite national team, Landis Cyclery, during one of their minicamps thanks to a heads up from my buddy David Glick who will become the elder-muscle on the squad for the next year.  I was taken through the beautiful Tonto National Forest to Bartlett Lake.  This was an incredible ride, minus the brief hailstorm...

Bartlett Lake / Tonto National Forest

Halfway out of the climb out of the park my cover was blown by one of the teammates who had raced at Elite Nationals and then a flurry of attacks came from the young guns of yellow and green hailing from Tucson, Phoenix, and Flagstaff.  After a 60 hour work week and 20 hours already on the books for my training that week... I had to let the kids be kids, but they showed me that they mean business while knowing how to have a lot of fun.  Watch out for them in 2012.

Really excited for next year with the addition of Cisco to our sponsorship team.  I think I am in a rare situation to be representing two companies, XO Communications and Cisco Systems, Inc., in a work field capacity and a sponsorship capacity.  I happen to be Cisco certified and work as a Network Engineer that happens to use XO Communications for our Wide Area Network services.  I just nerded out a little, but it's pretty cool and I'm hoping I can be a strong ambassador for the companies on my bike and in my office.  I must be doing something right,  because despite the crazy balancing act I performed this year to be able to travel/race/work, I am happy to report I have secured work for the next two years.  And I put enough OT in while at Phoenix to hopefully fund my Christmas present to myself:

Eh, Eh... New Direction for 2012?

I don't think I'll be chasing that opportunity in Belgium next year.  I have many reasons, but it mostly comes down to being very happy with my current situation.  I felt the pressure to validate my racing season since I didn't get the invitation to the big leagues.  But I am validated everyday thanks to my friends, family, work, and motivation to keep racing here.

I look forward to sharing next season with you.  Who knows, maybe UnderTheRugg might start a little video series...

Fin



The Univest Grand Prix was nothing more than a final curtain call for what has been a long memorable season.  The broom wagon pulled up to me halfway through the race with the driver asking me if I was done.  I mustered an "I think so".  I had made a move earlier in the race knowing that I lacked the fitness to contest any finish, almost made it look good, and quickly faded.  The driver of the broom wagon rolled up the window and accelerated past me with a sign behind the vehicle stating END OF RACE.  I smiled and knew I was done.  End of season. 

I've received much more support than I could have ever asked for from my team, friends, and family this year.  And to top that off with encouragement and enthusiasm from awesome people I've met along the way has left me with a season I won't soon forget.  Thank you! 

2011 Season Achievements

FIRST RACE OF THE SEASON

1st Place - Morgantown RR

BEST RIDE OF THE SEASON

3rd Place - Elite National Championship Road Race

THE ONE I WILL REGRET

6th Place - Sat up early in Tour De Toona TT

FAVORITE RACE / BEST EXPERIENCE 

Most Aggressive Rider - Nature Valley Grand Prix



THE UCWT GRWC: I'll just go to a Belgium themed bar tonight, instead.



Last Thursday I was hanging out at The Bike Rack when I started getting text messages asking if the mustache would be back in time, whether I was going to go, and congradulations.  It wasn't til someone told me to check the USA Cycling website that I had discovered a wild card invitation to race in the UCI World Cycling Tour (UCWT) World Championship Final in Belgium. 

Well... despite the offer to receive a free "Energy Shot of Quick Energy (59 ml)" if I was prepared to spend about $2,000 in airfare, lodging, registration fees, etc... - I quickly realized that I was going to have to sit out the Group Ride World Championship (GRWC).  The idea sounds awesome for the sport of cycling in general, but it's not for me.  I feel like it's more of a burden than an opportunity because of how ridiculous, yet exciting it all sounds.  If I had vacation time and robbed a bank, I would have jumped on it just for an excuse to go to Belgium.  I suppose their's always next year!  Oh wait, if I decline the invitation I automatically miss out on a chance to compete next year.  That negative reinforcement trick won't work this time.

Make some Illinoise!

While my team, XO Communications / Battley Harley-Davidson is stomping the Mid-Atlantic RR Championship this weekend in Page Valley, VA, I'll be getting stomped by the Columbia National Team and Geox-TMC among many other national and international pro teams at the UCI 2.2 Tour of Elk Grove.  Igor Voshteyn of Jonathan Adler racing was kind enough to let me race as a guest rider with them.  The world-class field and the chance to test my abilities at such a high level are only half as exciting as the fact that my dad is going to be in attendance among the crowd.  He hasn't seen me race yet. 

Last year my mom saw me race a local crit, The Fort Ritchie Classic Criterium in Maryland.  It was the first time she had seen a bike race.  I was off the front the entire race with Joe Dombrowski, Curtis Windsor, Russ Langley, and my teammate in the race, Chuck Hutcheson.  I won every preme lap and buried myself trying to get Chuck in position to win. Chuck won and my mom was proud and loved watching the race.  It'll be hard to pull something off at Elk Grove, but I can't explain how excited I am to try to make him proud.


  

The Mustache: Ride.

I cringed when I set my alarm on my cell phone last night after the long trip back from Bend, Oregon and the Cascade Cycling Classic.  The phone displayed a message indicating "3 hours and 22 minutes until alarm".  I was home after a delayed flight back into DCA and had to scavenge some sleep before work.  If my car hadn't broke down a few weeks earlier, it might have said 4 hours - but now my extravagant bike/metro/walk/run commuting lifestyle had begun.  Back to reality... again.

I'm tired.  It's just after 8am and I am on my third cup of coffee.  I just finished a morning meeting but can't shake the images of the Cascades and the lava fields still fresh on my mind.  On paper, it doesn't look like I had a very good race - and if we're looking at the results... that's pretty much true, but I experienced some of the best bike riding to date. 

Two days ago I was dropped on the final stage of the CCC, the Awbrey Butte Circuit Race.  I raced for maybe 25 miles when everything went dark in the 83 mile conclusion to the 6-day race.  My heartrate was maxed, my breathing strained, and my ability to turn the pedals over had suddenly became a struggle with no fight left in me.  I had just came back from an attack - I don't know why I had attacked... I never have a very good reason except I love doing it. 

The night before I attacked randomly with 5 laps to go in the Downtown Bend criterium and scored myself $200.  I had spent most of that evenings race accumulating cheering sections for "Mustachio!... 99!... STACHE'!...Rugg!..." while surfing around the back of the race, that I felt compelled to give them a little more to cheer for.  It was a short-lived attack, doomed from the get-go with Kelly's train poised to run right over me for their lead-out.  It was a short-lived attack that made the whole trip worth it.  I was with high-fives from kids telling me I was there favorite! ...Me? ...Someone's favorite?  People wanted to take their picture with me.  And yes, I was asked for my autograph.  Their is no bigger award than knowing that somebody is cheering you on.

I was going through the feed zone for the second time during the Awbrey Butte Circuit Race, and I knew that my race was coming to an end.  I rode myself silly for days, probably doing a lot more than I should have, thinking I would still be able to pull off some final hour miracle.  But the miles had taken their toll and my legs weren't up for the impossible.  I had put so much pressure to do something awesome to impress others, and there I was, riding alone, off the back, dropped... riding for noone but myself.  At first I thought I'd just finish the lap.  Then I thought, one more lap for training.  And then I started riding hard.  And then I wanted to make it back to the valley road where you had to look behind you to see the Cascades, and had I not been dropped - would have missed the incredible view. 

And then I wanted to finish.  It was just me and my bike for almost 60 miles.  The final lap I saw only a few course marshalls picking up discarded bottles and the occasional field mouse.  I mostly thought about how lucky I was and how crazy this year has been for me.  It had been a long time since I got to spend time riding alone, and I remembered how much I loved just having that time to think about anything and everything.  I came across the finish line 38 minutes down from the winner and I had fell in love with riding my bike all over again.  If I never go pro, at least I got some high fives along the way.


PS - The mustache is gone.  For now.